watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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