He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Shame - the story of my life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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