Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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