It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
