is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
