Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
