I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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