When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
