I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
