Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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