my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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