im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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