just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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