I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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