What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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