Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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