Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize