Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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