She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
