Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
