I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
