so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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