sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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