Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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