Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
