Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
