Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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