operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize