I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
