Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
