It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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