I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
