she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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