We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize