so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
