Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
