Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dick very happy bro
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
