remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize