Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
