She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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