I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
