ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
