3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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