She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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