And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to calm my uterus...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
