porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
