Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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