Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
