i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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