Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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