You work out of a Hotel?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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