On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
