Who did Billy Mays play for?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize