I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
