Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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