Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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