just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over