so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
