The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
