so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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