look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
